less than a second.......

i guess a lot can happen in less than a second.........something good or something bad!!....something outrageous, mysterious, funny, disturbing, sad, life born or lost!!

But how can a person's entire mental and emotional breakdown occur in less than a second?! I mean, how is it even possible to go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, all within a second!! how can anyone oscillate between such distant emotions within less of a second??!!......You might have had the best day ever..............so happy........flying through air.......giggling non-stop.........have a clear view of what to do........giddily anticipating every thing that could happen...........and then, BAM!!

Everything comes crashing down around you..........everything breaks.........nothing makes sense anymore............you feel stuck.....trapped.......lonely.......feels like everything is falling apart........and you literally can't breathe!........and you try......try to figure out why?? Why did this suddenly happen?! What changed?!......why so suddenly??.......and there are no answers.....just more questions........and they make you more nauseous.........you are stunned by the ferocity of this monstrous disease that is spreading........and you try to make it stop.......you do everything and think everything that generally works........but it is stuck to you like a leech..........sucking out all the blood......all the happiness......all your energy......till you are tired!!.....till you can't fight anymore.......till you give in.......till there is no hope left........and at that moment you wish that you could accept it!!........but NO........it taunts you......it plays with you..........and you agonize over it till it bleeds you dry!!

Then you start thinking, trying to figure a way out of this...........maybe you really are bipolar??! Maybe you need professional help......maybe you need the drugs.......maybe there is something seriously wrong with you.......you sit and wonder if this happens to others......if it does, why don't they talk about it.........then you wish that others would go through it just so that you don't feel so alone.......then you hate yourself for wanting this insane pain on others...........you try to calm yourself down.........try to do something that might just lift you after this gloom!!

So, after watching "the hangover" many times over and forcing yourself to laugh hysterically (even if it sounds weird to your own ears)..........you are done! You feel completely empty and like a shell!!........then you wait......you wait for the next extreme of emotion, either a high or a low.........because you can't escape it!!.....you have no choice except to deal with it and try to not let it over-power you!!..........you are just an empty shell that doesn't even make any noise!!

Then you wait!!.........you wait......because you know it is going to happen again.......you are dead sure about it!!.......but as much as you prepare for it..........expect it.........and try to get ready to deal with it..........it is always a lost battle........a forgone conclusion.......you are NEVER going to win!! And knowing that just drowns you even more............the more you kick and fight........the faster you sink...........basically, QUICK-SAND!!